Middle Earth Moments
by jessicaelvenprincess
Summary: A collection of short stories using plot-generator .org .uk (delete the spaces). They come out pretty funny. It's similar to Mad Libs. EXCERPT: "Gamgee must fight to save Dwarf Frodo but when he accidentally unearths a killer one ring to rule them all, the entire future of the dirty, scary galaxy is at stake."
1. Galactic Dirty Sword Wars

**This story was inspired by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey as she used this website in her Life of Lindir post-book 4 interlude. However, she did not post the reviews that come with the story, so I made sure to include mine as they are just as humorous as the story itself. I will probably post a few of these before searching for another website that creates stories like this. Hope you enjoy!**

Galactic Dirty Sword Wars  
A Science Fiction Plot  
by jessicaelvenprincess

A long, long time ago in a dirty, dirty galaxy... After leaving the scary planet The Shire, a group of orcs fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a magical, space Barad-dur. Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Sauron , a sticky hobbit capable of theft and even murder. Terrified, a carefree dwarf known as Frodo Baggins flees the Empire, with his protector, Samwise Gamgee. They head for Minas Tirith on the planet Mordor. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Gamgee uses his dirty sword to defend Frodo. Gamgee and Dwarf Frodo decide it's time to leave Mordor and steal a car to shoot their way out. They encounter a tribe of elves. Gamgee is attacked and the dwarf is captured by the elves and taken back to Minas Tirith. Gamgee must fight to save Dwarf Frodo but when he accidentally unearths a killer one ring to rule them all, the entire future of the dirty, scary galaxy is at stake.

* * *

Praise for Galactic Dirty Sword Wars

"I really, really, really hope that Gamgee saves Dwarf Frodo because I love this story soooooo much!" - The Daily Tale

"A sticky hobbit, a tribe of elves and a carefree dwarf - haven't we seen this before somewhere?" - Enid Kibbler

 **This seems a bit backwards, don't you think? Let me know if you liked it!**


	2. Rivendell

Rivendell  
A Mystery  
by jessicaelvenprincess

The mysterious, large town of Rivendell holds a secret. Elrond Bloggs has the perfect life working as a lord in the city and singing with his intelligent boyfriend, Aragorn Bloggs. However, when he finds a large ring in his cellar, he begins to realise that things are not quite as they seem in the Bloggs family. A council leaves Elrond with some startling questions about his past, and he sets off to beautiful Rivendell to find some answers. At first the people of Rivendell are kind and friendly. He is intrigued by the curiously sympathetic lady, Arwen. However, after she introduces him to hard kingsfoil, Elrond slowly finds himself drawn into a web of blackmailing, theft and perhaps, even lying. Can Elrond resist the charms of Arwen and uncover the secret of the large ring before it's too late, or will his demise become yet another Rivendell legend?

* * *

Praise for Rivendell

"Who wouldn't give up a life of singing with their intelligent boyfriend to spend a little time with a curiously sympathetic lady?" - The Daily Tale

"About as mysterious as finding a poo in a public toilet. However, Rivendell does offer a valuable lesson about not getting into hard kingsfoil." - Enid Kibbler

"The only mystery, is why did I keep reading after page one?" - Hit the Spoof

"I could do better." - Zob Gloop

 **I SWEAR I PUT ARAGORN AND ARWEN IN AS THE LOVERS WHAT DID I JUST CREATE?! And where did Bloggs come from? lol. This story is pretty messed up.**


	3. Aragorn and Arwen

**Thanks to Aria Breuer for reviewing and even liking these enough to create her own! If you haven't already, check her stories out.**

Aragorn and Arwen  
A Passionate Romance  
by jessicaelvenprincess

Aragorn Bloggs is a beautiful, brunette and intelligent unemployed from Imladris. His life is going nowhere until he meets Arwen, a tall, blue-eyed woman with a passion for swords. Aragorn takes an instant disliking to Arwen and the stupid and oblivious ways she learnt during her years in Rivendell. However, when a orc tries to kill Aragorn, Arwen springs to the rescue. Aragorn begins to notices that Arwen is actually rather kind-hearted at heart. But, the pressures of Arwen's job as a counselor leave her blind to Aragorn's affections and Aragorn takes up life to try and distract herself. Finally, when human lord, Elrond, threatens to come between them, Arwen has to act fast. But will they ever find the passionate love that they deserve?

* * *

Praise for Aragorn and Arwen

"I fell in love with the respectable Arwen. Last night I dreamed that she was in my teapot." - The Daily Tale

"About as enjoyable as being slapped with a dead fish, but Aragorn and Arwen does deliver a strong social lesson." - Enid Kibbler

"I love the bit where a orc tries to kill Aragorn - nearly fell off my seat." - Hit the Spoof

"I could do better." - Zob Gloop

 **Again with Bloggs. I guess that's what it gives you if you don't put a last name in. And what's with Zob Gloop disliking what I write? Let me see what you've written if you can so clearly do better! Haha let me know if you are Zob Gloop or Enid Kibbler with a review!**


	4. Galactic Swift Bow and Arrow Wars

**I was hoping that if I did Science Fiction again it would give me a different story. But nope. So enjoy the same story again with different characters!**

Galactic Swift Bow and Arrow Wars  
A Science Fiction Plot  
by jessicaelvenprincess

A long, long time ago in a swift, swift galaxy... After leaving the tall planet Earth, a group of orcs fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a blond, space castle. Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Thranduil , a dangerous human capable of blackmailing and even theft. Terrified, an oblivious dwarf known as Lindir flees the Empire, with his protector, Legolas Greenleaf. They head for Mirkwood on the planet Arda. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Greenleaf uses his swift bow and arrow to defend Lindir. Greenleaf and Dwarf Lindir decide it's time to leave Arda and steal a car to shoot their way out. They encounter a tribe of elves. Greenleaf is attacked and the dwarf is captured by the elves and taken back to Mirkwood. Greenleaf must fight to save Dwarf Lindir but when he accidentally unearths a stupid sword, the entire future of the swift, tall galaxy is at stake.

* * *

Praise for Galactic Swift Bow and Arrow Wars

"I really, really, really hope that Greenleaf saves Dwarf Lindir because I love this story soooooo much!" - The Daily Tale

"A dangerous human, a tribe of elves and an oblivious dwarf - haven't we seen this before somewhere?" - Enid Kibbler

 **"Haven't we seen this before somewhere?" - yeah last time you gave me this plot! Tell me which you liked better, Galactic Dirty Sword Wars or Galactic Swift Bow and Arrow Wars!**


	5. The Mysterious, Admirable Actor

The Mysterious, Admirable Actor  
A Summer's Tale  
by jessicaelvenprincess

Tauriel Bloggs is an understanding actor from grand Mirkwood. She leads a simple life. However, all that changes when Tauriel books a summer holiday to magical Erebor. At first Tauriel finds Erebor very picturesque. Then there's the mysterious, admirable housekeeper, Kili, who makes her feel uncomfortable. When Kili invites her on a laughing expedition, Tauriel begins to realise that Kili is a deeply hopeful and proud man. Tauriel knows in her heart that Kili is the man for her. However, to secure her happiness, Tauriel must fend off the courageous teacher, Legolas Thranduilion, who wants to get his claws into Kili. Using her precious jewels and a mutual love of gold, Tauriel sets out to snare Kili once and for all. But will the admirable actor return her affections?

* * *

Praise for The Mysterious, Admirable Actor

"Sizzling hot. I wish a mysterious, admirable actor would fall into _my_ life." - The Daily Tale **SAME!**

"The dullest summer story ever written. How would precious jewels and a mutual love of gold attract anybody?" - Enid Kibbler **Ask Thorin! Lol**

"I'm going to rush out and book a laughing expedition." - Hit the Spoof **SAME!**

"I once went to 'magical' Erebor on holiday but I didn't find it picturesque." - Zob Gloop **Did you have any problems with a dragon by chance?**

 **I would love to go on a laughing expedition! Who's with me?**


	6. Incredible Legolas

Incredible Legolas  
A Short Story  
by jessicaelvenprincess

Lindir looked at the shiny sandwich in his hands and felt irritable. He walked over to the window and reflected on his mysterious surroundings. He had always loved beautiful Imladris with its rough, ripe rivers. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel irritable.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Legolas. Legolas was an incredible volcano with charming hair and pretty eyes.

Lindir gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a clever, proud, wine drinker with tall hair and blonde eyes. His friends saw him as an ordinary, old ogre. Once, he had even helped an elegant young elf cross the road. But not even a clever person who had once helped an elegant young elf cross the road, was prepared for what Legolas had in store today.

The clouds danced like jumping butterflies, making Lindir sleepy. As Lindir stepped outside and Legolas came closer, he could see the grisly glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want revenge," Legolas bellowed, in an understanding tone. He slammed his fist against Lindir's chest, with the force of 8002 mice. "I frigging hate you, Lindir ."

Lindir looked back, even more sleepy and still fingering the shiny sandwich. "Legolas, I hate you too," he replied.

They looked at each other with ecstatic feelings, like two cuddly, comfortable cats sitting at a very popular council, which had classical music playing in the background and two spiteful uncles shouting to the beat. Lindir studied Legolas's charming hair and pretty eyes. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you revenge," he explained, in pitying tones.

Legolas looked lonely, his body raw like a raspy, resonant ring. Lindir could actually hear Legolas's body shatter into 2594 pieces. Then the incredible volcano hurried away into the distance. Not even a glass of wine would calm Lindir's nerves tonight.

THE END

 **I am in tears laughing! This is by far my favorite creation! Why is Legolas a volcano and why is Lindir an ogre?! The world may never know.**


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